Silent No More

"Silent Joe", Emporia State University's iconic bell is silent no more thanks to a generous contribution from the Sauder family. The bell tower has been a part of Emporia State University since 1939 when the school was known as Kansas State Teachers College. Silent Joe got its name during World War II because the bell remained silent as students at the college went off to war.

Read more about ESU's history here.

Killing Time

Ironically, I just turned in an ethics assignment for the second-most unethical professor I've had to date. I have one more exam for that class, and then I am done. I unfortunately have to wait until exactly at least 1:00 p.m. before starting the exam because he opens the exams early but we're not permitted to take them early or go over the imposed time limit for the exam. We have 24 hours to take it, 65 minutes to get it done from start to finish. Yes, that's what I've been dealing with for the past four weeks, besides the fact that he tried to turn an online class into something other than a fully-online class. Long story, but I never want to see this professor's name as a teacher on my class schedule ever again. The only professor who probably beat him in terms of unethical behavior is the misogynistic, racist, little troll who teaches economics and has the type of organization one would expect from a cave troll. 

GMAT is Saturday so my graduate future in business is impending. But this also involved a weekend of fun with my best girlfriend, so that is calming down some of my sense of dread. I have a love/hate relationship with standardized tests. I am good at taking about them, but only because I'm a sharp-minded, sneaky, person. I know how to take the tests, I'm not necessarily all that knowledgeable about the subjects tested. The GMAT, similar to all graduate entrance exams, tests how well you can take the GMAT and is a predictor of jack shit.

I'm thinking about spending the next 30 minutes watching some Baka and Test to get myself in the right mindset, but I am almost through the worst of this week. The best is yet to come!

Back to the Grind Spring 2013 Edition

I have been so busy with getting back to the school that I've hardly been maintaining the blog. Working at the funeral home has become far less stressful with our new funeral director. But my time has become crunched between the business classes, work, and the normal every day things that just suck the life out of 12+ hours of my day. I'm going to try to get back on a regular blog schedule in the upcoming months as I make the transition into an MBA program and try to figure out where I am going with my thirty-first (31) year on the planet.

Next week is all about apartment gutting. Goodwill is going to have an enriched inventory by next Friday. On next Thursday, I get to welcome a good friend back to the area (Roadtrip to KC! Woo hoo!) and then go straight to a training meeting at work that evening.

But I just have to say: playing an evil Dungeons & Dragons campaign with my friends is an event to be witnessed. I think I laughed so hard, I almost started crying at one point. Here is an interesting video I watched this week about people who play D&D that looks at some of the (possible) psychological benefits from playing the game.

So Many Changes

No surprise to any logical thinkers out there, 2013 arrived without the world ending. Or if it ended, it restarted without a hitch and with none of us any the wiser for its death. As far as apocalypse predictions went, this one was not nearly as fun as the rapture. I would have loved to have seen more pictures of the sort of people who had randomly disappeared and left their clothes behind.

Women might wish the world had ended if politicians and religious leaders keep pulling the same old bullshit they have been. Men who love women probably should feel the same way, but I have seen that for too many men, we are still some foreign creature that is somewhat human but not quite as human as they are. The heart of the problem is that people need to stop taking other people for granted regardless of biological sex, chosen gender, sexual preference, religion or lack thereof, nationality or ethnicity.

And for the love of sanity, can we please stop allowing churches and other religious groups to run countries, especially this one? That's why America was founded in the first place if people would bother to remember their bloody history. I love the land of the free and the home of the brave, but so much of America has lost that rebel, independent, spirit. Where's the outrage for that?

I suppose I'll stop politically ranting for five seconds. I'm just honestly heartsick for what has happened to my country.

Our former funeral director left and our new one starts this week. The rest of January is going to be a time of awkward transitions. We have a new funeral director who just moved to town and is going to be working with me tomorrow. With any luck, I'll be enrolled in my classes for the semester by Friday and pursuing some formal business administration training.

And in case you think I really haven't been writing, here's a tiny sneak peek from something I'm tentatively calling Deadly Nightshade:

"Belladonna Goodfellow pushed herself up from the floor slick with blood. Her head throbbed, her vision swam, and her thoughts came out as exclamatory clouds in her psychic coffee. Bent almost at the waist she swayed back and forth towards the front door and pushed her way to freedom."

November Goodbyes

I cannot believe how quickly this month has flown. We've made it through Thanksgiving and Black Friday. Cyber Monday is tomorrow. And, for NaNoWriMo'ers, we are in the last week of noveling madness. I am sitting at 31,835 as of this morning. While I am a bit behind the curve (about 10k at this point), I am still going to give my best until the very end. In fact, I have a plan to indulge in a party on the last day of the month involving Java Monsters, a trip to the Java Cat most likely, and writing all the way to midnight.

I'm clearly becoming invaluable at work because I have covered the office quite a bit this month so far. This is good for me, with student loans repayments becoming part of my life in December. You know, that month where the world is supposed to end. *smiles* No, I know I'm not going to get out of paying back the federal government that easily. All in all, my undergrad was pretty inexpensive, though, so I don't think it will be that horrible to pay back. The graduate classes that I took through full sail will be another matter, but worth it.

The worst part about November is the depression that it brings in my household. We made it through Veteran's Day mostly without incident, but it is clear that John's memories of the accident are plaguing him. He's still nervous driving on the highway, but I think the worst is that he cannot shake the horrible fears about possibly losing me that day. I think the difference is that I was angry that day more than I was scared. Also, there's the issue of what his mother said the day of the accident. Now that she's suddenly wanting to "bring the family back together," it's made him feel very conflicted. I can see the troubled emotions feeding his depression and anxiety; I honestly don't know what to do.

I really am not sure what I am going to do in April when I no longer have the office hours. I probably will still get called for the occasional visitation or service. Maybe another unique job will make itself known or I might rethink going back to school. I'm tempted to go for a business degree to get more of the training that I think I need to look better for office positions in this town. I have no idea how long John's current degree program is going to take him.

But I am preparing myself to say "goodbye" to this month and allow myself to relax a little more through December.

Strange day of tiredness

So I'm a bit tired and weak; not entirely sure why. Mostly the heat, I'm sure, since I've not been doing as well with it lately. I've managed to scrawl a few hundred words and do some grocery shopping but other than that, I've been largely unproductive today. I'm thinking food and a nap, possibly a late night cleaning and writing session after I wake up but nothing so noisy as to annoy the neighbors. I'm nice that way, I guess. (Or I may just write later tonight and save the cleaning for another day.)

 Some of my tiredness might be relief. I keep thinking things must be moving in the right direction. At the very least they seem to be a slight bit better and haven't gotten any worse. This Zombie Warhol could moan and groan with the best of them right now. I might even have the shuffle-lurch down to a fine art.

I'm trying not to hope too much, which is maybe a bad habit to have, but I'm a bit tired of being knocked down by circumstances beyond my control. I know John is too, of course. However, his has just as much to do with specific people trying to knock him down, than just circumstances. The old adage about blood being thicker is not always true, but then... I suppose real family are the people who stick with you through the good and the bad. We've been fortunate to know and meet far more people who have been true family during the past year and a half while we struggled through this bad economy and other problems. Thank you all if we've not said it enough.

But I'm tired and up to closing this small series of thoughts for now.

Long days

Camp NaNoWriMo has started off with a bang. Right now, I'm sitting comfortably at just a little over the required minimum. I'm striving for 50,000 words written this month with the rest of you.  I've found myself lost in writing, errands, job hunting, and the company of friends.

I just made it back home from an impromptu run to the Admissions office at ESU before they closed at noon. It's a bit warm out there for my tastes. I hate getting sweaty and I'm tempted to indulge in a dip in the pool. Certain schools need to quit stalling when it comes to sending transcripts, but at least an unofficial transcript will do for now for getting my husband enrolled into the psychology program.

Saturday is an official Zombie Warhol meeting from 11 until 3 at the JavaCat for the purpose of moral support, conversation, and writing. I hope to see a few zombies there! I would recommend that if anyone is wanting to continue the meeting past 3, there probably should be an exodus to someone's house or apartment.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.